After a 25 year marriage, of which was mostly disappointing, I got a divorce. Several times throughout the marriage I contemplated divorce. It is not an easy decision. Knowing it is over can be bittersweet. Realizing that you have the freedom to move on can be very exciting but actually initiating that movement forward is painful and terrifying. When children are involved it becomes very complicated. Although my children were young adults they still went through some difficult times. My youngest at 14 had the hardest time with the whole ordeal even though she knew it was for the best.
The pain of staying has got to outweigh the pain of moving on. If you are able to overlook the pain and stay in it and exist, then you can still make something within the marriage work. If however, the pain is so great that you cannot breath deep enough to exhale all the toxic waste the marriage has deposited in your soul then run to the nearest attorney's office and file.
I am not an advocate for divorce, I am an advocate for life and when your life is just merely existing from one argument to the next or one disappointment to the next, you are not living. Life is too short and can be shortened even more from the emotional poison ingested in a toxic marriage.
Renew your spirit and soul by recognizing the potential of freedom. This is encouraged only after you have given all you have to try to rescue your marriage. If your partner does not participate on some level, or agree to counseling and is not supporting some interest in changing the situation then you need to consider your options.
Intrespection and reflection on the whole matter is critical. Look at it from all angles. Leaving is hard and learning to live alone again is a whole new journey and challenge in itself. Take time to evaluate who you are and what you expect from a mate. DO NOT JUMP INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP!!! You have to know who you are to know who you want!!!
